


Time After Time

by JMoonrise



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arrow (TV 2012) Season 4, F/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:35:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23623225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JMoonrise/pseuds/JMoonrise
Summary: When you’re already down, things can’t get much worse. Until they do.
Relationships: Oliver Queen & Felicity Smoak, Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak
Comments: 42
Kudos: 142





	1. Chapter 1

“I’m scared,” she tells him, squeezing his hand tighter. Her blue eyes can’t conceal the terror he sees reflected in them, and he’s out of his depth on how to comfort her. He doesn’t know how to solve this.

This isn’t something he innately knows how to do and he’s out of his depth. He wants to comfort and protect her from what’s happening around them, but he doesn’t think they’re getting out of this that easily. 

He continues to hold her hand as he attempts to formulate a plan. He’s overheard their captors talking and it isn’t looking good for them. The people who kidnapped them aren’t planning to keep them here long, and it’s in their best interests to get as far from here as they can.

They had planned for some time to be able to get them here, and if they’re plan comes to fruition, no one will find them. 

He wishes he could discern where they were, but when they were taken, they were injected, blindfolded, and forced to take a bit of a hike through the woods. That isn’t saying much given they live in Washington and a lot of the state is wilderness.

Their blindfolds were only removed when they were tied up at their new location.

Part of him wishes that they hadn’t removed them so he didn’t have to watch her cry and feel helpless. “I’m going to get us out of here,” he promises. It’s his duty and he can’t fail her. He just can’t. It’s his duty and he’s made promises he has to keep. 

Her lip trembles and he can’t look at her tear streaked face without guilt gnawing at him. He wants to go home. Home is somewhere he doesn’t think he will see for a long time. “Promise?” He hears the hope ringing in her voice and prays he can deliver on it.

He shouldn’t. He was warned about making promises that he isn’t certain he can keep, but he has let her down too many times. He can’t add another strike to a long list of infractions. “I promise. We will get out of here and they’ll go to jail or worse.” His voice holds the promise of his words and there’s deadly intent laced through them.

She nods her head and silence envelops them. It’s disconcerting for him as he’s never known her to be silent from the moment they met. She’s a chatterbox like her mother. She’s disheveled as they were taken in the middle of the night. He probably doesn’t look much better either. Their pajamas are dirty and ripped, and he sees a cut on her neck from where a branch sliced her skin. His fingers clench painfully. 

“Is the device prepared?” The deep voice startles them. It is unfamiliar and new.

Several people in white coats gather around the newcomer, practically bowing before him. “Yes sir, we just have to start it up.”

The man has a sickly grin that sends shivers down his spine. His brain and body send warnings that whatever this man wants to do with them, it won’t be good. “Excellent!” He exclaims delighted by the progress. His dark gaze turns on them. “Soon you two will be disposed of, thus eliminating two pesky problems with one stone.”

He does something brave and bold, or maybe it is pure stupidity fueling him. He can’t help but provoke their kidnapper. “Yeah well we’ll see about that. Villains rarely win. You’re going to get your ass kicked, and you’ll wish you hadn’t taken us.”

If anything, this doesn’t deter their captor. His smile widens as he stares at him. “Yes, that is what you’d like to believe, isn’t it?” He takes a step closer to them. “But this is my story and from where I’m standing I’ve already won.” With that he turns on his heel, exiting the room, tobacco wafting after him.

“Why did you do that?”

“He needed it.” Villains were way too confident. They overestimated their own capabilities and rarely noticed how they left themselves vulnerable to attack.

She shakes her head. “I hope you didn’t do anything dumb that’ll get us in more trouble.”

When they’re standing in front of the head man thirty minutes later, he can’t help but feel he should have listened to her words. He mostly brushed them off. He knew more about this stuff than she did, but perhaps in this situation she was right. “Not so confident now Queen, are you?”

He purses his lips and refrains from commenting, further risking the man’s ire.

The man smirks and the sight is chilling. No one should look like this man with his evil, soulless pits for eyes and his sinister grin. There’s a jagged scar that travels down the side of his face. He nods his head at one of the workers and instantly a portal opens up in front of them. The worker has a small device in his hand that does who knows what. 

He has to get the device. It’s their only chance of escaping without being followed and he has a feeling that wherever the portal leads, it won’t be good for them. There’s a foreboding feeling creeping up his spine, and he has been taught to trust his instincts. And they’re screaming at him to get them away from the deranged lunatic.

What he didn’t take into account was her formulating her own plan. She takes initiative, slamming into the man, while he goes after the terrified worker, launching himself at the egghead. He aims a well placed kick, the worker bee drops it and he snatches it up, not that the man put up much of a fight. He idly thinks bad guys should hire better minions if this is the standard because brains weren’t always everything. The man stood frozen at the unexpected attack, which works just as well for them as now they are in possession of the portal opening tech. She managed to surprise the main guy and he’s yelling at all of the armed guards to grab them as he attempts to lunge for her. She ducks out of his reach, his fingers grasping at air.

He sees red instantly and adrenaline spikes through him as he tackles the man to the ground from behind. He falls forward giving them seconds to escape through the portal. He takes her hand and they run through the portal together. He hears loud, angry screeching and yelling, but it suddenly closes behind them. They exhale in relief; their bodies propelling forward to somewhere unknown. Wherever they’re going has to be better where they just came from because he has feeling, call it a hung that the man isn’t the type to lose or give up easily. They haven’t seen the last of him, but first they’ve got to find safety and then reach out for help.

When they reach the other end and their side closes without anyone coming after them, he releases a deep breath. “Wow!”

She frowns at him. He’s accustomed to her moods and her general displeasure towards him and ignores it. “What now?”

“We go to the bunker. You know that.”

She levels him with a steely glare. It’s effective and his easy grin falls. “How do we get there?”

“Über?”

She shrugs at his suggestion. She doesn’t have any better ideas. “We don’t have a phone.”

He grins smugly at her, for once he’s more prepared than her. “Those idiots didn’t take my watch.” She rolls her eyes and gestures for him to go ahead then. He turns on the watch, piggybacking off a weak WiFi signal, and uses it to get them a car. It’s the one thing that has gone right for them all night. They can’t afford to remain out in the open for long, especially given the state of their appearances.

It doesn’t take long for them to be paired with a driver and they wait patiently for the car to arrive. The driver frowns at them and glances at their apparel and disheveled appearances, eyes lingering on their faces. “What are you doing out here this late at night?”

As they glance around, they belatedly realize they’re in the Glades. It isn’t a particularly safe area. They should’ve been more perceptive of their surroundings, but they were just relieved to have escaped relatively unharmed. “Uh… we got lost?”

She turns away from him and his weak excuse. He is a terrible liar and unlikely to improve, and he should leave it to her. His responses are more likely to get people asking the wrong sort of questions and drawing unneeded attention them when they should be remaining under the radar. “Can you drive, please?” She asks in an overly sweet voice.

The driver does as asked and they collectively release a sigh. They don’t need anyone asking questions about what they were doing at this time of night in that part of time. It wouldn’t look good, neither would involving the cops. Experience has taught them to rely on their instincts.

He feels himself crashing as the adrenaline leaves his system. He is tired. He wants nothing more than to sleep after the adventure they’ve had and he hadn’t been asleep more than a few hours when they were kidnapped and forced to walk several miles through the wilderness. She doesn’t appear to be fairing any better than him, her head lolling to the side.

They thank their driver as he lets them out a block from the bunker entrance. They don’t answer any of his other questions and they at least had enough awareness to be dropped off away from the entrance. They couldn’t risk revealing the location. They wait until his rear lights turn a corner before walking down the street even if the streets aren’t particularly safe this time of night. They force their aching, fatigued bodies to move and he smiles when he sees it.

The elevator ride down is familiar and comforting. They can get help and put those guys in jail. That’s what he keeps going through his head. He doesn’t understand why they were taken, but he does want to see them get their asses kicked for daring to think they were easy targets.

The doors open and they aren’t alone.

”This is why we don’t say shit like that. Look what you’ve done now.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to rewrite this. Do you ever just have a moment where you don't like how something is going and decide to scrap it and start over? That's what happened here. I decided to go in a different direction. I was struggling a lot with the other version of the story and my mind kept pushing me here.

“You know you’re kind of an idiot.” Oliver grimaces as she plucks another piece of glass from his hand. “What possessed you to punch glass?”

He sighs. “I was angry.”

She hums as she removes the last fiber from his knuckle. “I get it.”

He suspects she does. Out of everyone who bore witness to the events of last spring, she was the only who didn’t feel overly betrayed by his actions, then again she has worked for the devil herself.

“Every time I think I might finally get that cliche happy ending something comes along ruining everything I’ve built and reminding me that it isn’t in the cards for me.”

She cleans the open wounds, wiping away the blood and disinfecting the many cuts. “Oliver, I love you. You’re part of my family and you love Johnny and Sara. But I think all of that is bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“You stand in your own way. I can’t say why you do it. Maybe you’re afraid.”

His shoulders slump as she grabs the gauze to wrap around his injured hand. He flexes his fingers, wincing when he feels pain. He has had worse injuries over the years, but it is his dominant hand and will definitely impact his ability to wield his bow. “Maybe I am.” He retorts.

“I know how much you love her. I mean you flipped the fuck out after you saw her and Ray kissing.”

It isn’t a moment he likes to think about. He lost his cool and the situation was one of his own making when he refused to take into consideration Felicity was her own person, capable of making her decisions, even if she can be was biased where he was concerned.

“Heard about that, huh?”

Lyla nods as she dresses his hand. “Yeah, Johnny and I talked about it. I was glad you came over for dinner because you do have family. I know the one you grew up with is nonexistent and you’ve had to look at the world very differently when you returned, but you’re not expected to be immune to the pitfalls of being human. Love and life are complicated.”

 _Doesn’t he know it?_ His whole life up until the Gambit was sabotaged was a mindless blur of partying, women, fucking up his life, and living for the next round of fun. He didn’t care about his responsibilities and flaunted authority if his indiscretions with the police are anything to go by. The island changed his whole view about the way the world operated and he quickly realized money wasn’t the only currency people dealt in, and for once his status as a Queen meant nothing. He was no one. He had to forge himself into someone else in order to survive fromone day to the next.

“Why weren’t you mad like everyone else? John took a while to come around and that had more to do with… well extenuating circumstances.” He nearly slips, catching himself at the last second.

She pats his knee, a sad smile on her face. “I probably am in a better position to understand than the rest of them given my chosen profession. As an agent, you can’t really take things personally, particularly when there’s a bigger picture to consider. Was I little pissed and wanted to kick your ass? Yeah, but then I saw you when it was over. Johnny’s anger clouded his mental state and he couldn’t see past it to see how you were hurting. It wasn’t your intention to get wrapped up in the affairs of the League or to have to sacrifice so many things including your personal relationships in order to continue your deception.”

“You’re the only one who understood then.”

“The others take things personally like I said. Their feelings whatever they may be influence how they survey a situation. Me, I thought it was awfully convenient how you released me when they showed up and how you didn’t hurt me when I was at your mercy.” She lifts a brow and he flushes. He was perhaps a bit too transparent. “You sold it for the most part to them, but their personal attachments were blinding them.”

“You’re good at compartmentalizing.”

She smirks. “It almost sounds like a compliment, but I think we both know why I developed that skill.”

“I don’t think there will ever be a day where I don’t hate that bitch.”

“Can’t say I blame you.” Amanda Waller isn’t on the list of her favorite people. The woman doesn’t do anything without gaining something in return. She always has cards to play and things to threaten people with in order to do her bidding. “If it helps, I can see why you did what you did, not that it excuses all of the secrets. Can I give you some advice?”

Looking at him, she briefly thinks of all the advice he’s received from far too many people about how to live his life. Then again they all gave him poor advice, failing to take into account what lies and secrets do to a relationship when brought to the light of day.

“Go ahead, it’s not like it could hurt at this point.” Her heart goes out to him. She hasn’t seen him this broken up in over a year when he finally pulled his head out of his ass.

“A relationship is built on trust as I’m sure you’re very much aware.” He nods, his brow furrowing. “Johnny and I crumbled because we allowed outside circumstances to infiltrate our relationship. We let a good thing go instead of fighting for it. If you want a chance at getting her back, heed my words for the next time you find yourself alone with her. Stop lying to her and yourself.”

His forehead crinkles and his eyes are steeped in confusion. She huffs, realizing she has to elaborate. “She thinks she can’t trust you and from her standpoint, she’s correct. You spent five years learning that trust gets you killed and that there’s one person you can count on, yourself. Do you know what we call that in the field?” He shakes his head. “A dead agent if you can’t trust your team. You’ve got to open up to her. You did to Johnny, so why is she different?”

Oliver bites his lip, dropping his gaze to his lap. He knows why it is different. It isn’t related to his trust in her, but his innate need to protect her at all costs even if it is from him. “She- I- fuck- I don’t want her to look at me differently.”

Lyla rolls her eyes. The Queens must’ve bred stupidity and lies. Oliver and Thea have far too much of it and worse they act on it. “Given that your start in the city was you killing a bunch of rich men like yourself and she still joined your team, I’m going to say she doesn’t care. You want to protect her, but lying hurts more. Think about when you discovered your parents’ darker natures and betrayed you felt by them and their secrets. It was their actions that caused you to lose years of your life.”

Pain flashes across his face so quickly, Lyla has to wonder if it was ever there. He isn’t as adept at hiding his emotions as he thinks he is. She wonders how long he’s been holding all of this in. “I wanted honesty from my mother. She kept lying until it was basically too late and the Glades were almost completely leveled. Yeah she wasn’t entirely responsible for that clusterfuck, but she had me kidnapped and she shot me. I didn’t want to believe she was capable of anything so nefarious, but well…” he trails off.

The agent can’t imagine living like that, constantly surrounded by people who are supposed to love you, but unintentionally inflict more damage on your already tortured soul. “It’s hard to unlearn the things we learn from our parents.”

Oliver agrees. He modeled the behavior he saw from his parents. Queens weren’t supposed to display weakness and they were to protect their secrets at all costs. “I fucked up.” He rakes a hand through his hair. “I convinced myself there would be time to tell her when I could figure out how to merge William into my life without putting him in harm’s way, but I was doing what my mother did. I was really protecting myself. I could’ve fought Samantha harder on that. At the end of the day, she was the one who walked away with my kid, lying to me about having a miscarriage.” His mother and her secrets surrounding babies has really had an impact on his life and his resulting choices.

“You’re going to be okay.”

He tries to stop himself from getting too hopeful. Hope and he haven’t been the greatest of friends. Misery is his long term companion. “I hope. It’s different being down here and not hearing her fingers flying across the keyboard or the smell of coffee brewing. She’s gone and it’s my fault.”

“Women like Felicity, they rarely leave forever. If Johnny and I can figure it out, the two of you will too. Give it some time.”

“If you say so,” he shrugs, desperately wanting to believe her. The odds are stacked against him and he fears this was the final act fo push Felicity over the edge.

John walks over to the two. He allowed Lyla to take care of his wounded friend and he doesn’t mean the physical kind. The type of pain Oliver is in can’t be measured, nor does it heal quickly. “How’s the patient?”

“He’ll live.”

“No damage?” All he saw was the blood smeared all over the place, and Oliver’s hand wrapped in a towel when he arrived.

“None of the cuts were deep enough to require stitches, but he probably won’t be able to shoot for a few days.”

John secretly thinks this is a good idea. Oliver is under a lot of pressure and his personal life has ripped apart at the seams. The time away from his life as a vigilante will be good for him. The rest of the team can pick up the slack while he gets his bearings. “We finished cleaning up Hulk’s tantrum.”

“Har har, really funny,” Oliver flips him off.

Thea sidles up next to John, smiling softly at her brother. “I like that comparison. I mean you totally did some damage to the med bay and we’ll have to replace some stuff. I suppose we should count our blessings that you didn’t go to the streets again.”

“Is this pick on Oliver day?”

“No,” she snorts. “That’s every day. We wouldn’t say anything if we weren’t worried. You’ve been distant and moody, not that it’s all that different from your usual behavior, however you’re also hurting. I’ve never seen you cry like that… ever.” Her eyes reveal her concern, and he has to look away. It wasn’t his intention to let anyone see him fall apart.

Oliver averts his gaze, unable to meet any of theirs. He is uncomfortable at the attention and mention of his emotional breakdown. He can’t remember the last time he properly cried. It’s been so long since he allowed sadness and despair to creep in, and it caught him off guard. He hasn’t experienced it so strongly in his life. When he thinks of a lifetime without her, everything around him seems bleak. His world is dark without her there to shine the light and pull him back when the darkness threatens to engulf him. He has no one to blame but himself.

“Yeah…”

The other three occupants exchange worried looks. None of them know what to do to help him. He’s lost and floundering and has been for the last three weeks. They were all surprised he had gone this long without an incident like tonight happening. He has taken a few extra risks with his life and they’ve all noticed.

“So are we going to talk about what caused you to go into a rage?”

“It got to be too much.”

“No shit.” His sister says. “You’re usually in control of those emotions. Hell when you came back from the island, I thought you were like a robot. You rarely showed any and looking back what you did show was calculated. I just worry that you’re not handling this in the healthiest manner.”

His head snaps up, his upper lip curled in a snarl. Thea blinks at the rapid change in his demeanor. She struck a chord and the explosion is unlike anything she’s seen from him. “How the fuck am I supposed to handle it?” He rages at her, standing up, prepared to tower over her. Lyla shoves him back onto the cot, tired of his dramatics. “Everyone in this godforsaken city knows that I got dumped.” He laughs hollowly. It’s almost comical when he thinks about it. He, Oliver Queen, was dumped. It was bound to happen if he’s being honest with himself. Felicity was way too good for a damaged soul like him, and he should’ve stayed away, kept those boundaries in place, rejected her when she came to his room in Nanda Parbat. By that time, it was too late. He couldn’t resist her if he tried. His defenses were at an all time low.

“We know you don’t care about the tabloids. And besides everyone sympathizes with you. Half of the women are itching to be your rebound, now that you’re no longer engaged.” Thea can’t believe this man is the same brother who ten years ago managed to charm most of the woman who caught his attention. “I guess that doesn’t really matter. You don’t want their sympathy.”

“No,” he growls in irritation. “I just want to get back at Damien. If it wasn’t for that fucking asshole and for Barry, and let’s not forget the asshole who donated a little DNA all those years ago, I wouldn’t be in this situation.” Sometimes he curses the universe for the day he and Barry’s paths intercepted. Getting roped into solving Barry’s problems isn’t something he enjoys. “Barry told me William was my son and how Felicity broke up with me the first time, and that I should keep it to myself. Look how that turned out for me.” He gestures to his surroundings, his new home. “I don’t know why I listened to him. It took him his whole life to admit his feelings to Iris and what does he know about anything.”

“Okay, why don’t we stop the pity party?” Thea meets John’s eyes, nodding to her brother. She can’t exactly offer anything with her love life in shambles. She hasn’t had a steady relationship in far too long and the man she loves left her for her own good. Perhaps it is a curse being a Queen in love. She and Oliver don’t have the best role models in the romance department from their father’s countless affairs to their mother’s one time affair resulting in Thea’s existence. They grew up watching couples marry for political and monetary gain; it was normal if couples weren’t overly affectionate or if a wife or husband disappeared during a gala. Everyone ignored it. So what do they know about maintaining a healthy relationship?

John pinches his nose. “Look Oliver, I don’t pretend to know what’s going to happen in the future, but what you’re feeling right now isn’t going to be there forever. I think time apart is good for you and Felicity. You jumped into this relationship and fast tracked every aspect of it.” It was surprising when Oliver wasn’t known for commitment prior to his involvement with Felicity, probably the other reason he held out so long. “Maybe this came at an opportune time for the both of you to take stock and reevaluate. While love is integral to every relationship, it doesn’t stop it from crumbling when there are other issues.”

Lyla smiles sadly at her husband. Love wasn’t one of their problems and she knows it’s the same for Oliver and Felicity. In some ways they remind her of herself and Johnny, but they had waited longer to get married, while she and her husband chose to jump the gun.

“We just think you’re taking on too much and stretching yourself thin with campaign events and hunting Dhark.”

“It’s hard to sit back when something is always happening in this city. I swear every time we catch our breaths, there’s another criminal or supervillain ready to threaten the delicate balance. They breed like bunnies and infest like cockroaches.”

“Please don’t put shit like that out in the universe. You’re basically asking for another crisis.”

Oliver waves off his sister. “I’m not worried. Our Dhark problem is about all we are equipped to handle at the moment and we aren’t even successfully doing that.

“Geez way to have confidence in our abilities.”

“Man, I get you’re struggling, but we are going to get rid of Dh-“

John is cut off by the opening of the elevator doors. The four of them frown, not expecting anyone to show up. Their heads turn to catch the newcomer and Thea swivels hers back to glare at her brother. This was all his fault. He had to open his big, stupid, dumb mouth. He should know by now to keep it in because with their combined luck, something was bound to happen. It is one thing after the next. 

“This is why we don’t say shit like that. Look what you’ve done now.”

He holds up his arms, innocence painted on his face, eyes glued to the children who somehow managed to infiltrate a super secret, secure bunker. He thinks he should be more careful with his words in the future.

Looking at the two children, Thea can’t help but think that things are about to get a whole lot worse before they get better. 

* * *

Felicity is deep into her coding, can’t remember the last time she ate a proper meal, or slept in her bed. She avoids going home, or doing much of anything that’ll remind her of him. Quitting the team has left her with too much time on her hands, and she doesn’t know what to do with it except work. For the last four years, her nights were occupied with helping Oliver and their team save their city and now she doesn’t have that fulfillment in her life. She doesn’t know what they’re doing, how they’re fairing without her, or who’s running technical on their missions. She’s read a few stories online about some of their saves, but the team has kept a low profile in the last few weeks.

Part of her regrets the decision to leave, while the other part can’t work with someone who doesn’t trust her. She can’t be around him. She’s gone down that path too many times and she should’ve known to avoid personal attachments with Oliver. He lies like he breathes.

So perhaps that was unfair. He is selective about what he chooses to lie about, but it doesn’t negate the fact that he does lie. He lied to her when they were supposed to be building a future together. She lived with him, had agreed to become his wife, and worked with him every night. She agreed to be his assistant for crying out loud when her skills and degrees surpassed the position. She left behind the life she built in Star City because she loved him and wanted to be with him.    
  


She regrets how she willingly left behind the life they created in Ivy Town. She can’t help but think it was a giant mistake. Granted she was bored, but it wasn’t as if she couldn’t have done something to rectify that. They weren’t on the run or anything like that. She thinks of his crestfallen face the night Laurel and Thea showed up and hates herself for how quickly she agreed. If it wasn’t for her, he wouldn’t have come back. That is something she does know. Being the Hood, the Arrow, and the Green Arrow has stolen pieces of him. 

She rubs her face tiredly, blinking harshly as the lines of code blur together on her screen. She needs to stop thinking about him. It won’t do her any good.

The blonde grabs her mug, frowning when she sees that it’s empty. _When did that happen?_ She decides it is time for a break and gets up to refill her coffee. She hears the cracking and popping of her body as she pushes herself out of her chair. She rolls her neck and shakes out her limps before heading to the kitchenette.

She bumps into Curtis who tries and fails to hide his expression. He looks warily at her as if he’s debating on whether or not to share information with her. She’s sick of people keeping things from her. “What is it?” She growls, unable to rein in her temper. She’s been a little short with people recently, particularly her mother who calls and texts her multiple times a day to check up on her as if she isn’t perfectly capable of doing it herself.

He startles, jumping a little. He hands her phone over with a grimace. She realizes she hasn’t used it in a day and had forgotten where she placed it. It isn’t like she has anyone she wants to talk to at the moment. “It’s been going off for the last hour.” There’s more to it than that. He wouldn’t appear as worried as he is if there wasn’t. She arches a brow. “Okay… it’s Oliver. He’s called a few times and sent texts. I think it’s urgent.”

Her eyes drift down to her phone where she does in fact have several notifications from Oliver. There are texts and he did call her several times. She locks the screen, blocking out the notifications. It’s likely some ruse so they can talk, and she’s just not ready to talk to him. She isn’t sure she’ll ever be ready. “It’s fine. If he calls again, just ignore it.” Something in her brain tells her she should return his call, but she ignores it. What could be so important at this time of night? He hasn't tried to contact her since they broke-up three weeks ago. 

The lack of contact hurts the most, which is strange. She doesn’t want him to contact her and would prefer the clean break, but he’s given up so easily. She thought if anything he would try to call or something, but it has been radio silent. She hasn't heard from anyone else either. She tries to pretend it doesn't bother her that they've all written her off and have seemingly picked his side, but it does. It's easier to bury her emotions in her work than get caught up in all of this. She doesn't want to fall down the rabbit hole and that's what will happen if she allows her mind time to rest. It wasn't until she walked away that she knew how much she loved him. She thought everything that transpired in the fall and even last summer during their jaunt around the world she had some idea. She was wrapped up in him and allowed it to distract her, but it's the little things that have her reaching for her phone in moments of weakness. She misses having his warmth next to her at night, cuddling into him with her feet tucked between his legs. He had coffee and breakfast waiting for her every morning. He packed her lunches and sent her off to work with a kiss. His kisses whether it be on the lips, her cheeks, her hair, or her forehead, she aches for them. They made her feel safe and cherished, and she didn't take that lightly. 

There's all these things she's learning how to live without again. She failed to realize that as well as she was doing before his surprise entrance into her life, he changed it for the better. She wasn't living the fullest life, barely went out, and spent way too much time with her couch, ice cream, and Netflix until one day, the last person she expected entered the IT department, seeking her services. Everything spiraled from there and even though it's led her to her current circumstances, she doesn't regret helping him. She would do it again knowing everything she does now.

With a deep sigh, she excuses herself. The fact that she hasn't changed her wallpaper speaks volumes, and she knows what she has to do. 

Knowing there's no going back if she does this, she returns his call. It better be urgent. She taps her foot, almost hanging up at the first ring when she hears the click on the other end. "Oliver?"

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Should I continue?


End file.
